As some of you might know, I have decided to deactivate my facebook. At first I did it to help with my study ethic during finals week, but eventually, I guess I just stuck with it. At the start of vacation, I spent a little over a week in New York City with my family, and I thought keeping facebook on hold might prolong the time and energy I devoted to family building. I can reasonably say that was a great decision. I’ve been back a little over 2 weeks now and I still haven’t reactivated my account. Strange. I really wanted to, but I promised myself I would have good reason before I would do so. Did I want to spend time catching up on all the most recent winter break photo album uploads? Or maybe I was craving some attention that would be signaled by the little red notification box in the bottom right corner. Maybe I was hoping to catch up on all the events I wasn’t invited to. All this got me thinking. What do I need facebook for? Well, there are actually two parts to that question; one is “I” and the other is “need”. So, who am “I”? Who I am is defined by how people see me, but to be more specific, it’s about how I want others to see me. You know, in high school, everyone is something, at term, a name, a clique. Some of my friends were christians, or geeks, or maybe just loners, but don’t get me wrong; most of them were just dorks. When you leave high school, you get a fresh start in college. Then when you leave college, you get another clean slate. All the time, everyday, every moment, you are what you want to be. Well, sometimes I used to edit my AIM profile to say something cool, with cool quotes, or maybe the date that I first started seeing someone, because I wanted to make my profile special. I wanted to be special, and of course, knowing that is a hard trend to break, I still do. So, thats what I think “I” am. I am whatever I want myself to be. Next off, what do I need? Need is a choice, isn’t it? You only need what you think you need, what your body might tell you you need, or what your parents tell you what you need, but isn’t it all just a choice in the end?
So here’s my conclusion. I have mixed feelings about facebook. Its usefulness, or its general appearance, and also its existence. I am who I want to be, not what my AIM and facebook profiles say about. What I need, is someone to agree with me. zip.