10 ways to win your heart

  1. give me gifts – growing up, I stopped receiving gifts around the age of 9. Around that same age I stopped believing in santa. I see a correlation. Anyway, I grew to really appreciate gifts and material things given by other people. A note handed to me is cherished not because of the words of encouragement on it but because of the thoughtfulness put into making/writing it. I didn’t have friends when I was developing my own identity so it became a huge part of my life to cherish meaningful friends. Gifts were often associated with those friends who truly cared. Call me materialistic, but it’s just the way I’ve come to adulthood. 
  2. Dig – I tend to put up a front that everything is okay. That’s why its so hard for me to be vulnerable and truthful with myself. There are only a handful of people  who are frank with me and whom I trust enough to take their words at face value. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt anyway, but even writing this post is very difficult because it is hard for me to be completely honest with myself. I wish people would dig more into my impenetrable defense of over-easing glorified image of self. 
  3. initiate with me – I’m used to initiating, but rarely do people ask me out, ask me to do things. They assume I’m busy or that I wouldn’t want to go. Or perhaps they assume that I’ll be there even if they don’t invite me. Not Facebook invites, but phone calls or in person. I’ve already experience a lot of turmoil with one person because they assumed a lot about me and therefore never invited me to anything. It’s hard to build that relationship when you’re not on the same page,you know?
  4. Read Scripture and Pray with me – devoted time to our relationships with God is the best way to grow. I don’t just know that, i IMPLORE it. God speaks of fellowship with the spirit as integral to the fellowship with others. I love the spontaneity of jam prayer meetings and scripture study. School and life just gets so hectic. I’ll know you care if you tell me to slow down and thank God when things get crazy. There’s at least one person on xanga who has really done that for me THANK YOU. 
  5. Tell me when I’m wrong – and do it in a loving way. This one is hard. I know I’m stubborn. It comes with my surname. but I’ve been called out by enough people to know that there is a certain way for me to receive constructive criticism. Eventually, I always draw some lesson from everything, but in some cases, the person interceding just isn’t personable. Of course, this is difficult to change. I wouldn’t ask anyone to change for my sake, but there are times…
  6. Pay it forward – I don’t like hearing “I’m sorry”. Apologies can at times be deserved, but if you’re wronged someone, its too late to take it back. If I’ve been hurt/trespassed, it doesn’t matter if you’re sorry; I’m still going to forgive you on my own time. I don’t deserve an apology, God doesn’t even ask for one when we face Him. My only request is that you pay it forward, and treat the next person with request. In the future, just take whatever gratitude I’ve shown you, and shine it on others. God’s love will circulate back to me, somehow. 
  7. Make me do things – I’m stubborn. I don’t play nertz, I don’t jam, I don’t play board games, I don’t hang out in certain groups, I don’t listen to bruno mars, I don’t go clubbing, I don’t play video games, I don’t play tennis, I don’t do a lot of things. And there are a lot of reasons why I don’t do these things. I may never share any of these things with you, but overcome my arrogance and make me do them, or something like that. 
  8. Patience and Tolerance – each of my best friends is extremely tolerant of my intolerable behavior and comments. I wonder if that’ll be a trend. sometimes I wonder when Chris’s tank will run empty and he’ll explode on me. same with esther, michelle, and michael. These people tolerate me. I don’t know how. 
  9. Take chances – dates, spontaneity, etc. Just say yes every once in a while. Let God take the reign and stop allowing self doubt to govern your life decisions. I can’t say that satan always speak through doubt, but enough times in my life, I’ve been disappointed because people took 3 take-backs and stalled. I get frustrated but mostly because the chance and thrill of living righteously and rightly just evaporated before my eyes. 
  10. Trust me and don’t lie to me – this can go a long way in a relationship with me. I’m generally very trusting. I doubt that people will try to hurt me. If I hurt you, different story (and I apologize in advance). but I never expect someone will hurt me, let alone try to. When something goes wrong in my relationship with someone, I almost always attribute it to myself. I think to  myself, “well if I hadn’t done that, this wouldn’t have happened” or “I wish I could take that back.” It isn’t my natural inclination to blame others for mistakes made or hurts given. Ultimately, I ask that if you want to win my heart, just trust me. You don’t have to win my trust because you have it from the first day you meet me. Just promise me not to break it. 

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