my outfit for the day was plain and simple. My new white epic tshirt. My straight-laced non-cargo brown khaki shorts. A good belt that has the belt loops in the perfect place. and My crocs, brown, lightweigh, and simple.

This combination of white, brown, belt, and sandals has been my favorite combination all through high school and college. It’s sort of the, I’m sorta cool and simple, but I’m not so simplistic and low key enough to wear basketball shorts look. It always goes well with a backpack too. In my case, wearing brown crocs just complements the brown khakis — no clash. In my mind, it’s the most practical “derek” look I can concoct. To be honest, it’s heavily influenced by my edwin/kwan complex. When I looked at them (and their etiquette) as a freshman, I made a mental note to always strive for that look.

“Simple. Matching colors. Long and Lanky. Crew Neck.”

Knowing those two has heavily affected the way I view myself. The simpler you dress, the more your dress will accentuate your bodily feature. Being long and lanky just makes you seem tall, and who doesn’t want to look taller? Just a thought…

But all of this has nothing to do with what my post is about. My post is centered on my crocs. See, I love my crocs. I wear them any chance I get. the only problem is I’ve begun to develop blisters on the inside arch of each of my feet where the saddle lets looks on the sandle. They begin to itch and are definitely uncomfortable after long walks. I’ve told everyone that I love my crocs and affirmed their ingenuity anytime someone ridicules their design. I’ve gotten to a point where, even though they’re uncomfortable half the day, I have to keep wearing them to prove a point.

Have you ever done that? Have you ever stuck by something out of pride or foolishness to maintain your stance? I feel like this happens often to me. I just want to be right, SO BAD, that I’ll adamant about the most ridiculous ideals. I was thinking about this while walking to the library to study. Sometimes I don’t even understand why I need to be so SURE and RIGHT about trivial issues.

Sometimes I become so  unyielding to change that I end up rejecting good ideas. It happens when I deal with people all the time. I hear their ideas and my first thought is to comment, with reservations, about what they’re saying/doing and to change their behavior according to my standards. something doesn’t add up, right? When did I become so arrogant and so immovable? Don’t answer that.

Simply put, it was nice today seeing the worship team do stuff. The reason is because I’ve seen God mold me and reshape me, maybe not recently, but within the past 3 years. I remember staying up multiple nights during my freshman year talking to daniel about how we didn’t think a certain person should lead worship because he sang off-key a lot. We were very critical of that person… in our own dorm room. But today, seeing zoe, jeremy, and stephen just take the reigns and do their own thing was fantastic. My first thought wasn’t, “Man, they could have transitioned bettered.” It was just seeing God shape people and seeing those people engage with the LORD in worship. That was excellent.

I’m beginning to recognize more and more where my values don’t line up with kingdom values (another blogpost in itself). Needless to say, God is good and immovable. But I am not good and immovable. Guess who needs to change.

God move me to move others only if I am moved by your steadfast love.


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