I know I read this over a year ago, but a year later, it really is incredibly encouraging to reread these words. Purity is difficult to fight for, particularly in your own heart. It’s definitely encouraging to know that there are women (and other men) who understand that there is a real struggle among brothers to keep their minds pure. I want to keep fighting for purity as well.
One of the reasons why this post really gets to me is the blogger expresses compassion, a rare gift that only shows when a writer/person has an acute awareness of the audience he or she writes to. As a man who has struggled with purity, it seems very clear to me that I am her audience. Her words flow with compassion because she writes with the intent of sharing grace. Despite knowing it is my responsibility to lead well as a man, she forgives me for my struggle and failures and even goes further in saying, “I’m sorry because I know it’s hard to live righteously when you’re surrounded by so much temptation.” Her first and foremost goal is to affirm us men by sympathizing with our struggle. Her words are perceived as sincere because she actively tries to sympathize with men, kinda like how people say “Put yourself in my shoes.”
If you read the first 50 comments like I did, you’ll see many instances where commentators essentially said, “Why do you need to apologize? It’s not your fault. You’re blowing this way out of proportion. It is men’s fault that they struggle.” I can’t really disagree with their position because I think their point has merit. It IS the responsibility of men to lead. However, in my opinion, compared to her blog, these comments appear harsh, not compassionate, unsympathetic, insensitive, and insincere. The reason is because their words present truth without grace. In the blogpost, before she gives any sort of instruction, encouragement, and/or biblical reference, she makes an effort to affirm her reader – to acknowledge them or let them know that someone is on their side, even someone who could be a victim of their sin. Something I’ve recently learned about myself is that it’s difficult for me to accept instruction or encouragement if I don’t first feel affirmed by the person giving it. If those commentators were to write this blog instead, I feel like they would have probably focused on one or all of the following three points:
- You shouldn’t be lusting after women or fantasies
- Porn is destroying you and your relationships.
- You need to turn to God to reject the sin.
If you had shortened the post to just focus on those three points, while truthful, I don’t think the blogpost would have had the same effect. Anyway, I’m grateful for these words, her compassion, and for the encouragement. Purity, ultimately, is something difficult to fight for, and I echo the words she shared at the end… “You are truly a light in this dark world. A protector of women, and a buckler for your future family. Thank you for loving your sisters in Christ the way the Jesus would.”
Are you a boy?
Not sorry that you’re a boy… That’s awesome.
I’m sorry that you see hundreds of advertisements every week showing half-dressed women.
I’m sorry every time you go to the beach or your neighborhood pool you can’t look in any direction without seeing a girl basically in her underwear.
Or that you can’t scroll through Instagram on “women crush wednesdays” or any day for that matter without an airbrushed girl in a thong staring you down.
Or that your buddy showed you that one magazine when you were 9 and you’ve never forgotten that moment because that was the first time you first saw a completely naked woman.
When I think about the guys in my life who are striving to live with a pure and Godly mindset, it honestly breaks my heart that they’re surrounded with so much temptation.
I think about my 22…
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