Let it Ride

Talked to Chris the other day. We were talking  about dating. We talked about how when you put a relationship in a box with a bunch of rules, it tends to smother the relationship. We read so many blogs and articles about how we should date, and what’s safe. Sometimes by trying to protect that relationship, we end up destroying it. Instead of letting God lead, we try to direct it, control it, and ultimately, no one is really enjoying it and no one can really be themselves #runonsentencealert

Josh and I talked the next day, and he gave me an analogy that gamblers use at craps table. When the table’s hot, and your bets are just going, just “let it ride”, and as I experience more of life, I’m seeing that he’s on point. <insert on point emoji>

In small group, we were talking about Love (again). As a backstory, we have a tendency to get stuck on this subject because some of the boys.. eh I mean men, have trouble comprehending what love is. I’m teasing them of course, but I think they’re really onto something. We really can’t grasp the verity and gravity of what love is because God is love, and God is immense, awesome, and beyond our human comprehension. He is the definition of love, not the oft-mistaken 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 verse. So why talk about this? In small group, we were talking about how 1 Cor, Gal 5, and Rom 12 all relate to our understanding of love. One of the main things I drew from that lesson (good job daniel), was that love is many things, but God is none of those things. What? Didn’t I just say God is love? So, what I mean is that love is always interpreted from our human perspectives. We see love in a hollywood-tainted perspective. But even the best love that this pagan world can express or show doesn’t even scratch the surface of the ethos that God represents. His love is incomprehensible, even though we know the grace of God is sacrificial and selfless. In our daily lives, we can’t even comprehend that. Or perhaps, instead of saying “we”, I should just say “I” because I really should only speak on my own behalf. I’m not rebuking anyone, nor am I criticizing a generation of christians. I really think that we have all been transformed by God’s grace, and as we continue to pursue Him, we will become more selfless, more faithful, more hopeful, more full of joy, and of course, more loving.

Anyway, something interesting is in Galatians 5, there lists a bunch of bad stuff – debauchery, sexual immorality, sensuality, adultery – you know, stuff that you get in trouble for, that even the general unbeliever considers unethical. What I realized is if you pursued love in a worldly sense, you would potentially end up in one of these. What’s the point of physical intimacy if not for the sake of marriage? And what’s the point of marriage if you don’t seek to love your husband or wife with grace that was first demonstrated to us by God? But then in the chapter, it continues to list the fruits of the spirit. And what I realize is, all these things are things that are good, that we want. And you don’t get them by pursuing love directly. you get them by pursuing God first and foremost. Of course easier said than done, but it makes all the sense in the world, yet on a daily basis, I fall short of that intent. I am constantly sinning, and repent little. It’s really an unfortunate blessing sometimes to receive so much grace from the Lord. I don’t deserve it.

So, what I resolve to do this year, as a new years resolution is to love, but not just that. It’s to let it ride. haha, thanks josh. It’s really to love those around me, by first loving God. It’s to build relationships, without rules, but still with wise counsel and boundaries about whats righteous and good, but still let it ride. I want love, and I want joy, and faith, but I won’t pursue those first because I’ll pursue God first. And as I do that, I’ll let it ride, again. I’ll do all of this because He really is worth the risk. And the ride is a hella fun haha

“When you delight in the Lord, God shows you that He’s pretty awesome.” – Derek Le


Surely we can change

This morning, I had a rude awakening to my mom lecturing me. My door was closed, but I was already awake. I had somewhere to be at 9am, and because I hadn’t left my room (or the house) by 8:50am, my mom took it upon herself to say the following. I’ll do my best to provide a rough English translation to her words.

“Why won’t you wake up? You’re always like this – waiting until the last minute to do everything. You’re going to turn out just like your uncle. He was always like this, being lazy and waiting until the end. If you keep doing this, you’re going to spend the rest of your life losing out and coming in second.”

Needless to say, not the best good morning I have ever received. I left the house for my 9am appointment just a little after that, but I chose not to respond to my mom while she was shouting about this.

On the drive back home from my appointment, I started reflecting on how best to respond to my mom. Of course, I wanted to lash out and point out the inconsistencies in her opinion, how they’re particularly offensive/harmful, and how judgmental she is. But I was listening to this song In my car, and it reminded me of how we are intended to love people as they are and be edifying in the process. For the LORD’s greatest commands are written in Matthew 22:36-40

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

I’ve been reading crazy love as part of my 2-a-day devotional times. One of the passages I read two days ago that struck me is written here:

“The fact is, I need God to help me love God. And if I need His help to help me love Him, a perfect being, I definitely need His help to love other, fault-filled humans. Something mysterious, even supernatural must happen for genuine love for God to grow in our hearts. The Holy Spirit must move in our lives.”

As I was reflecting in the car, I asked God to intervene on my behalf. I know that I am totally incapable of loving well and righteously. I need his steadfast love to overcome my sinful desires. I naturally wanted to oust my mom’s opinions and assert myself as more knowledgeable and capable. But I know God would rather me be a loving servant to my parents who do not know Christ. My example to them everyday can and should be a testament of God’s grace in my life. Here are some of the lyrics that spoke directly to me.

“And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that

When all the love in the world
Is right here among us
And hatred too
And so we must choose
What our hands will do”

Needy people

“I don’t want to care for people who are needy.”

If I am more gracious with my words, I would instead say, “I find it hard to love people who require more love and attention than others.” My immediate thought following any encounters with tough-to-love people (or TTLP) is this:

(and I apologize for my rough assertiveness, but these are honest thought’s I’ve had)

Continue reading

Musical Therapy

1. Turn off the lights.
2. Pray, asking God to open your heart.
3. Click Play.
4. Meditate on the words.
5. Note when the tears start flowing…

EX: http://www.youtube.com/comment?lc=EKAxoL7YFAEO2fUIELNirpbSLcxd6Oef66xPZYDHE1c

God, I’m just so tired. I just want to leave this world.