Tv. Drama. Relationships. One Tree Hill.
If you grew up in my generation, then sitcoms with titles like One Tree Hill and The O.C. will sound familiar to you (if not, then this post will still probably relate to you). The episode in the title is probably one of my top 5 episodes of the OTH series. There’s about 23 episodes each season for 9 seasons, and I have watched seasons 1-7. I watched the show in high school, and when I went to college, I discovered limewire and online streaming. Needless to say, I caught up on all the seasons I’d missed, filled in the gaps, and even met a girl with whom I bonded with solely over this show. I fell in love with the character Lucas. In a lot of ways, I wanted to be just like him. Watching the shows several years later, I wouldn’t wish that struggle upon anybody.
The show is so well scripted. It’s meant to tug at the heartstrings of every hopeless romantic. I was incredibly hooked just a few years ago because I felt like the stories I was investing my life in could fill the ache in my heart. I wanted to be the hero in the story because it constantly felt like I was suffering. I would watch as the love story that unfolds every season would be chronically shattered 5 episodes later. Episodes were particularly potent when the dramas going on had any semblance to my own life. In this particular episode, this is the breakdown.
Season 1: Girl likes Guy, Guy likes Girl’s Best Friend. Girl and Girl’s BF both like Guy. Guy starts dating Girl. Guy also has feelings for Girl’s BF at the same time. Both Girl and Girl’s BF are hurt. Guy and Girl break up.
Season 2: Girl still likes Guy. Girl’s BF doesn’t like Guy anymore. Girl thinks Guy still likes Girl’s BF. Girl doesn’t want to tell Guy that she likes him. Season ends with Guy confessing to Girl that Guy likes Girl, but Girl just leaves, crying.
Season 3: Girl likes Guy, but plays hard to get. Girl and Guy begin an open relationship. Guy is constantly fighting for Girl’s attention, but Girl doesn’t want to commit. Girl is afraid of getting hurt. Girl cheats on Guy with Guitar Guy. Guitar Guy is a douche, but you’ll learn to love him. Guy is upset.
If none of that makes sense, then that’s fine. The truth is, a lot times, I watched the show hoping that the happy ever after ending that the actors experience would happen in my life. If Guy and Girl can just work things out and forgive each other in embrace, why can’t I have porch-lit confession with music playing in the background? The show gave me hope. Watching the drama obviously didn’t make my life any easier; in reality, it probably made it harder.
I rewatched this episode tonight partially because Rebecca awakened the beast in me, and also because I wanted to reacquaint myself with the storyline. However, while watching it, I couldn’t help but feel sad. I mean, it’s not that this episode ends with unhappy endings. It’s more so because there’s so little for me to hold onto now. I don’t hope, like I used to, that things turn out perfectly for me like they do for Lucas. I don’t want my life to be a drama. I have a lot of friends who like to say, or at least used to say, “My life is like a korean drama.” Now, that sounds terrible. That’s like saying your life is a never ending cycle of broken relationships until the next person comes along to sweep you off your feet and fix all your problems. Then again, to be completely fair, OTH Seasons 1-4 are about juniors and seniors in high school.
There is an endless list of rationalizations and biblical truths that I could blog about explaining why watching a tv show in this manner is unhealthy, but I really wrote this post just to think out loud. You know… to show I’m human. And probably also to affirm the opinion people have of me that I think too much.
So I lied; maybe part of me still wants to be Lucas, but I don’t want to be even more so. There are moments where I’m watching this episode, and I’m daydreaming about how nice it would be if this scenario played out for me right now, how happy it would make me, and of course, how thrilling it would be to give a speech to a girl that I love. But, it’s not supposed to happen, mostly because it didn’t.
Watch this episode. Watch the last 5 minutes, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.